Could It Be??

That our children are FINALLY starting to play TOGETHER???!!!!


What a joyous sound it was to hear them going up and down the hallway together laughing and playing the other day. I've been waiting on this for a while and was wondering if it was ever going to happen! Lol. I'm not sure that it'll last, but I'll take it when I can get it! The sound of them laughing together is music to my heart. Of course, I grabbed the camera...

So, they're not really playing the same thing here , but that doesn't matter, does it?!
Bit loves, loves, loves clothes and fabric and shoes and uses the hallway as her catwalk. Lol! She has always loved fabric. It's something I noticed about her very early on. She definitely came this way folks! I didn't teach her this at all!
And Boo loves a track! And he loves to follow people/dogs with his vehicles on tracks. So, this was the perfect combo...Bit walking up and down the hall with my yoga pants and Boo following her with a train. They thought it was so fun! I did too!

:)

And then another day, I found them like this. They were sitting side by side in their toy baskets.
Hey, this counts too!

I also wanted to document some of the funny things Boo has said recently:

After a coughing spell he said, "Mama, why do I have so many coughs coming out of me?"
And...gosh, I can't remember the other one I was going to post. Darn. Well, maybe another day.

I also wanted to show you a pic of B-man. This is of his interpreter, his Afghan counterpart, and himself.  That's all I'm going to say about it for security purposes.

Happy Tuesday to you all!

Ooh! I remembered what Boo said. This morning I told him it was time to brush his teeth and he said, "But Mom, I already brushed my teeth last night. So, I will do it in a couple of days, ok Mom?" Haha!

I admit, we ususally only brush once/day around here when it comes to the children. And it's a full on battle to get Bit's brushed at all. But, a couple of days? I'm not that bad! ha!

Donuts with Dad

Boo's preschool hosts a Donuts with Dads morning every January. Our B-man obviously couldn't make it, so PawPaw graciously stepped in to join Boo for Donuts with Dads day. Boo was very excited that PawPaw was going to be at school with him.

Thankfully, my friend A was able to watch Lil Bit and I was able to go and take pictures. Boo showed PawPaw his favorite thing, the blocks and then they had a donut and some juice. It was nice to see all of the kiddos with their Dads and PawPaws!

Thank you PawPaw so much for going with Boo!

Exactly!

The article below by Glennon Melton seems to be making its way around cyberspace. So, I thought I'd do my part and share it here. It describes almost perfectly how I feel most days. I sometimes feel like if you have any regular contact with me, you might think I complain all of the time about my children. And maybe I do, but I love them beyond explanation and I do cherish my time with them. I've had a hard time putting into words what I'm feeling and this article does just that.

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies.  But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here's what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.
Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.
Good enough for me.

Yes, exactly!! The Karios moments are the ones that fill me up every day. Granted, they are usually less than a minute in duration when considering chronos time, but boy do they provide an infinite amount of deliciousness.


Two recent Kairos moments for me:


1. After saying his prayers last night, Boo looked up to the ceiling and said, "Okay God, I'll see ya later," and then laid back down on his pillow. It was so cute. And it produced the biggest smile on my face to see him just chatting with God. That was definitely a Kairos moment. It stopped me in my tracks as I was trying to wrap up bedtime. That's what those moments do.


2. Lil Bit gives me a little bit of Kairos every night. I know it's coming and I can't wait for it! When she's ready for bed and all of her stories have been read, I carry her with me over to her lamp and I turn off all of the lights in the room. And almost instantly, like the switch on the lamp, she plops her head down right on my shoulder and snuggles in for some cuddling before I put her in her bed. Ahhh, that is the best feeling.  I.love.it!


The author describes parenting as brutiful. Brutal and beautiful. Exactly!! I love it and struggle with it daily. But, have no doubt, I loves those two babes with everything I've got!

The Doorbell

I'm not exactly sure when my hatred of the doorbell began, but I do have a visceral reaction (and not a positive one) to the sound of the doorbell.

I guess it started back when Sandy became an inside dog when we moved to Colorado. Every time the doorbell would ring, she'd bark and jump on and around whomever was at the door (is it whomever or whoever, I don't know). Anyway, it wasn't really a hatred at that point. It was kind of funny. I'd just smile and say, "Oh, she's fine, she's friendly, she'll probably just kiss you...". And that was that. Sure, I tried to train her, but a dog trainer, I am not!
And then we got Murray, and that doubled the barking and jumping at the sound of the doorbell. And, it wasn't just our doorbell, doorbells on TV also triggered their protective response. Still, two barking dogs, not that big of a deal. It was over in less than a minute. We would easily move on.

And then we had our Lil Boo. And this is where it got serious! A LOUD doorbell ring that led to two barking dogs did not gel well with Boo's already challenged napping ability. I even put a sign on the door that should have said, "Baby Sleeping...if you ring the doorbell and wake the baby, you will get punched in the throat." But, instead,  I went with the more hospitable, "Please do not ring doorbell, baby sleeping. Please knock lightly". And do you know when 80% of the people saw the sign? After they rang the doorbell. The sign was hanging ON the doorbell for Pete's sake.  And then our Lil Bit arrived and the dislike continued. A sleeping baby is a precious thang!

Now, add a deployment to the mix and the doorbell becomes the sound that can send a spouse of a deployed soldier to her knees. I'm sure you can figure out why. And in less than a week, this has happened to me twice. I thank God, on my knees, that neither of these occasions were actually notifications. But they definitely had my adrenaline going.

The first occurrence was last Friday evening. We always have pizza on Friday night and I had ordered out for delivery. And about an hour after I placed the order, the doorbell rang. It didn't bother me in the slightest. The dogs barked, I put them outside and we hurried to the door in anticipation of our pie! And when I opened the door all I saw were two young men in suits and ties standing on the steps and one even had a backpack that was ACU camou. The sight of these two men in suits created the biggest lump in my throat and drop in my heart I've ever experienced. My first thought was that this was a casualty notification. But, I knew something wasn't right about it. So, I kind of stood there blinking furiously trying to look, but not look at the same time. And then my mind was telling me, "they're not in uniform, this can NOT be a notification," and then I saw that they had name tags on and I read through my blinking eyes that they were Mormons and it dawned on me that they were going door to door doing their required mission work. Oh, thank God! I could breathe again. I'm sure all of the color had drained out of my face because they were asking me if I was okay. After a few moments I was able to speak and tell them what was going on in my mind. Here I was, a spouse of a deployed soldier, expecting a pizza and I opened the door to two men in suits. For a few moments, it was just awful. The pizza guy arrived a few minutes later and I was so glad to see him.

The second doorbell ring that sent me reeling happened last night. It was about 6:15 p.m. and I was getting the kiddos ready for bath time. Boo was running around taking off his clothes and I had just gotten Bit's clothes off of her and she was happily running around naked as a jay bird (babies love to be naked, don't they).  And then, like a shot in the night, the doorbell rang. At 6:15 p.m. I was expecting no one. I stood there in the hallway looking towards the door. And then it all unfolded in slow motion. The dogs were barking and barking and I was just standing there. I turned around to look at Bit. Apparently, she had just peed on the floor and now looked like Bambi learning how to walk on ice as she slipped all over the place. And I thought, "this is how it's going to happen."  Boo was now naked and was running around saying, "Mama, who's here? Mama, who's here?"  Oh Lord, please do not let this be happening.  And then I started going through a sort of checklist in my head to prove that this could  NOT be a notification. The conversation I had with myself went something like this, "Okay, it's night time. They don't notify at night. But, it's only 6:15 at night. They very well could come at 6:15;  Okay, I just received an email from B-man earlier today. Probably 4-6 hours ago. Surely nothing happened in 4-6 hours. But, 2 hours ago would have been better. It very well could be a notification if the last time I heard from him was 6 hours ago." And so on and so forth.  There I was...unable to eliminate the possibility of this being a notification. Damn that doorbell.  So, then I seriously contemplated NOT OPENING THE DOOR. They couldn't notify me if I didn't open the door, right? I almost went with that plan of action, but then I found myself walking to the back door to let the dogs out into the backyard. And then, I picked up a naked Bit and held her in my arms. Boo had run into his room at this point and I sternly told him to stay in his room and closed the door. And I started towards the front of the house. And then I was almost running (I think I just had to know) with the hairs on my neck standing straight up and the lump in my throat growing by the second. And when I opened the door, nothing. No one was there. What? Where are they? And then,  I looked up and caught the tail end of the UPS truck driving away and recognized the familiar sound of the truck hurrying off to make its next delivery. I looked down on the porch and saw a brown box package waiting for us. Oh, thank God. It was a delivery. It was just a delivery. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was the UPS man!! Oh, thank you Lord.

Now, I don't want you to think that I usually stand around waiting for the doorbell to ring. Casualty is not always on my mind. It's not. And I'm not sitting here worrying all day. I have my moments, but for the most part, we're doing our thing and moving along just fine. I think the whole incident with the Mormons kind of primed the pump if you well and I guess I was still kind of on edge about the whole thing when the doorbell rang last night. Let me reiterate. I'm okay, the kids are okay and B-man is okay. We're all okay. Now, that being said...

I LOVE the UPS man!
I HATE the doorbell!

Mail Call

I remember back when the Iraq war started in 2003, the only way we had to communicate with B-man initially was through snail mail! He left, was able to call early on because of a Red Cross message about Granny needing heart surgery, and then we didn't hear from him for 8 weeks! It took 8 weeks for his first letters to arrive (he had written them early on, but the mail traffic was slow initially). It seemed like forever. I cherished those letters so much. I would just read them over and over again. I still have them all through both Iraq deployments and an earlier 6 month Kuwait deployment (gosh, where are they? I think they're in our permanent storage in TX).

Now, just a few short years later, the world is so tech dependent and I'm so thankful that I usually get an email from B-man everyday unless there's a blackout. Blackouts occur when there is a casualty in theater. They are not allowed to use comms until family members have been notified in the US. They do this so that family members are notified correctly. Okay, enough about that. We're also hopeful to take our communication a step further this time and be able to skype with him in the near future. Thank goodness for technology!

That being said, you just can NOT beat an old fashioned hand written letter! When you open the mailbox and see a letter from Afghanistan, it's a wonderful feeling!! I can't wait to read them! And now, Grady is experiencing this too. He loves checking the mail and gets very excited when we have a letter from DaDa. We got one just the other day. B-man drew some pictures for Boo to color and he got working on them right away. B-man even wrote Lil Bit her own special note and she loved carrying it around. It was like she could tell it was something special.  Melt my heart.

Here is Boo working on his coloring.





B-man's Corner: (more from his emails)
I got my first two packages today! Yeah! Mom and Dad, thanks for the kippered herring! I'll enjoy the look on everyone's face as they smell it! Ha! I also received my laptop in the mail (and intact). This is good. I fired it up tonight before coming back to work and it seems to be running fine. Just this week they completed the internet contract and started getting WIFI hooked up. I heard that there was a long line to get accounts established earlier. I expect that the line will simmer down in a few days, then I'll see if I can get it working on my computer. I would love to be able to "skype" back home. Times zones will be an issue, but I should be able to work it out.

Today, it snowed all day. When I went outside to shave this morning there was about an inch and a half of snow on the ground. It didn't accumulate too much more than that around here even though it snowed a lot ... I think its kind of tough for the snow to stick on gravel and sand. I talked to the other half of my team this evening. They told me that they have about 8 inches on the ground now. I'm hearing predictions that the temps are supposed to reach a high of 11 degrees Fahrenheit here on Thursday. TOO COLD!

When I talked to my counterpart (Afghan) today he said that he thinks we brought good luck with us. He says it doesn't normally snow like this here, so we must have brought it with us. Also, before we got here the previous guys were working on fixing the burners (cookers) in the mess hall and within the past few days we got them repaired. He was more than pleased about that!

My counterpart did have some bad news for me though. It seems that one of his "relatives" was hit by an IED yesterday. His relative is a civilian and was driving his civilian vehicle when it happened. It looks like he is going to be OK, but my counterpart is taking off for a few days to go spend time with him. I tried to show him some sympathy. He said something like [translated] "Ahhh, it happens all the time here ... since I was very young ... we're used to it." I think this shows their culture. They are very used to bombs.

More on projects ... Just last week a few of us sat down and "designed" a new outpost. We're trying to get it done quickly, but there is a lot of red tape that we have to bust through. Anyway, the project was pretty cool.  This place is not going to be the Taj Majal by any stretch, it is very rudimentary. It'll be cool to leave my mark on the terrain. I'm betting that at least remnants of our construction will be here 50 years from now. (This is based off of seeing remnants of the Russian regime still here).

I don't think that I've told you about my translator/interpreter/linguist/cultural advisor yet. He's got a pretty cool story. I think he's about 50-55. He is originally from Pakistan, but he lives in the US now. He is a trained accountant and CPA. He says he did taxes for a long time, but he couldn't pass up the money from this job. He has two boys, and a girl. His oldest son has a Masters in computer engineering, his daughter has a Masters (in something ??) and his youngest son is in college.

Anyway, he was supposed to be the US BDE CDR's interpreter, so he moved to Alaska in NOV so he could get to know the BDE. Everything was good until they got here and discovered that something happened with his clearance ... delayed/stalled somewhere and since he doesn't have a clearance he couldn't translate the necessary classified material/conversations so they booted him. 

Long story, short ... my team had an "urgent" need for translators so he ended up with me. Now I just hope that I get to keep him ... I'm afraid that once his clearance finally gets approved, they're going to steal him back. He speaks/reads/writes several languages, Pashto being the important for language for me. Most people around here speak Pashto and Dari, so if they begin speaking Dari to him, he just tells them to speak Pashto. Luckily, my counterpart is pashtun, so they match up quite nicely. Also, and this is the most important thing ... I can understand his English! So many translators don't speak understandable English ... I got lucky with my translator.

Boo, Kid Comfort, and Fear No Easel

Finally, a blogworthy photo of Boo with his Dada picture! It's getting harder and harder to get him to look at the camera, etc. He's so busy! 



I think he looks like such a big boy in this picture. Sniff!



Thanks to the mild temps here in SC, we've been able to enjoy some time outdoors. Here we are watching Boo on his bike.

Trying to smile. hehe!

Racer!

Go, Go, Go!

My friend Carrie told me about this program called Operation Kid Comfort through the Armed Services YMCA. Volunteers from around the country will make a quilt for children of deployed service members with photos of that service member. So, I contacted the YMCA at Ft Richardson and sent in 9 pics for each child. The quilts arrived in the mail yesterday and the kids are in love with them! Bit keeps saying, Da-Da and Boo keeps telling the story that goes along with each of his photos. What a great gift!!

Lil Bit's quilt.

Already snuggled up in his! (this was about 15 minutes after it arrived in the mail)

BeBe babysat the little ones tonight so that Aunt R and I could go to this place called Fear No Easel. You go there and the instructor tells you/shows you how to paint the picture of the night. You have creative license to do what you want, but they guide you on how to approach it. We started with blank canvases and ended up with these masterpieces!! It was sooo much fun!! We hardly ever get to to do anything, just the two of us. So, it was a nice treat. We went to eat dinner afterwards and we were home by 8 p.m.! My kind of night! Thanks BeBe for watching the babes.  You should definitely do this if they have something similar in your neck of the woods.