The Doorbell

I'm not exactly sure when my hatred of the doorbell began, but I do have a visceral reaction (and not a positive one) to the sound of the doorbell.

I guess it started back when Sandy became an inside dog when we moved to Colorado. Every time the doorbell would ring, she'd bark and jump on and around whomever was at the door (is it whomever or whoever, I don't know). Anyway, it wasn't really a hatred at that point. It was kind of funny. I'd just smile and say, "Oh, she's fine, she's friendly, she'll probably just kiss you...". And that was that. Sure, I tried to train her, but a dog trainer, I am not!
And then we got Murray, and that doubled the barking and jumping at the sound of the doorbell. And, it wasn't just our doorbell, doorbells on TV also triggered their protective response. Still, two barking dogs, not that big of a deal. It was over in less than a minute. We would easily move on.

And then we had our Lil Boo. And this is where it got serious! A LOUD doorbell ring that led to two barking dogs did not gel well with Boo's already challenged napping ability. I even put a sign on the door that should have said, "Baby Sleeping...if you ring the doorbell and wake the baby, you will get punched in the throat." But, instead,  I went with the more hospitable, "Please do not ring doorbell, baby sleeping. Please knock lightly". And do you know when 80% of the people saw the sign? After they rang the doorbell. The sign was hanging ON the doorbell for Pete's sake.  And then our Lil Bit arrived and the dislike continued. A sleeping baby is a precious thang!

Now, add a deployment to the mix and the doorbell becomes the sound that can send a spouse of a deployed soldier to her knees. I'm sure you can figure out why. And in less than a week, this has happened to me twice. I thank God, on my knees, that neither of these occasions were actually notifications. But they definitely had my adrenaline going.

The first occurrence was last Friday evening. We always have pizza on Friday night and I had ordered out for delivery. And about an hour after I placed the order, the doorbell rang. It didn't bother me in the slightest. The dogs barked, I put them outside and we hurried to the door in anticipation of our pie! And when I opened the door all I saw were two young men in suits and ties standing on the steps and one even had a backpack that was ACU camou. The sight of these two men in suits created the biggest lump in my throat and drop in my heart I've ever experienced. My first thought was that this was a casualty notification. But, I knew something wasn't right about it. So, I kind of stood there blinking furiously trying to look, but not look at the same time. And then my mind was telling me, "they're not in uniform, this can NOT be a notification," and then I saw that they had name tags on and I read through my blinking eyes that they were Mormons and it dawned on me that they were going door to door doing their required mission work. Oh, thank God! I could breathe again. I'm sure all of the color had drained out of my face because they were asking me if I was okay. After a few moments I was able to speak and tell them what was going on in my mind. Here I was, a spouse of a deployed soldier, expecting a pizza and I opened the door to two men in suits. For a few moments, it was just awful. The pizza guy arrived a few minutes later and I was so glad to see him.

The second doorbell ring that sent me reeling happened last night. It was about 6:15 p.m. and I was getting the kiddos ready for bath time. Boo was running around taking off his clothes and I had just gotten Bit's clothes off of her and she was happily running around naked as a jay bird (babies love to be naked, don't they).  And then, like a shot in the night, the doorbell rang. At 6:15 p.m. I was expecting no one. I stood there in the hallway looking towards the door. And then it all unfolded in slow motion. The dogs were barking and barking and I was just standing there. I turned around to look at Bit. Apparently, she had just peed on the floor and now looked like Bambi learning how to walk on ice as she slipped all over the place. And I thought, "this is how it's going to happen."  Boo was now naked and was running around saying, "Mama, who's here? Mama, who's here?"  Oh Lord, please do not let this be happening.  And then I started going through a sort of checklist in my head to prove that this could  NOT be a notification. The conversation I had with myself went something like this, "Okay, it's night time. They don't notify at night. But, it's only 6:15 at night. They very well could come at 6:15;  Okay, I just received an email from B-man earlier today. Probably 4-6 hours ago. Surely nothing happened in 4-6 hours. But, 2 hours ago would have been better. It very well could be a notification if the last time I heard from him was 6 hours ago." And so on and so forth.  There I was...unable to eliminate the possibility of this being a notification. Damn that doorbell.  So, then I seriously contemplated NOT OPENING THE DOOR. They couldn't notify me if I didn't open the door, right? I almost went with that plan of action, but then I found myself walking to the back door to let the dogs out into the backyard. And then, I picked up a naked Bit and held her in my arms. Boo had run into his room at this point and I sternly told him to stay in his room and closed the door. And I started towards the front of the house. And then I was almost running (I think I just had to know) with the hairs on my neck standing straight up and the lump in my throat growing by the second. And when I opened the door, nothing. No one was there. What? Where are they? And then,  I looked up and caught the tail end of the UPS truck driving away and recognized the familiar sound of the truck hurrying off to make its next delivery. I looked down on the porch and saw a brown box package waiting for us. Oh, thank God. It was a delivery. It was just a delivery. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was the UPS man!! Oh, thank you Lord.

Now, I don't want you to think that I usually stand around waiting for the doorbell to ring. Casualty is not always on my mind. It's not. And I'm not sitting here worrying all day. I have my moments, but for the most part, we're doing our thing and moving along just fine. I think the whole incident with the Mormons kind of primed the pump if you well and I guess I was still kind of on edge about the whole thing when the doorbell rang last night. Let me reiterate. I'm okay, the kids are okay and B-man is okay. We're all okay. Now, that being said...

I LOVE the UPS man!
I HATE the doorbell!

Mail Call

I remember back when the Iraq war started in 2003, the only way we had to communicate with B-man initially was through snail mail! He left, was able to call early on because of a Red Cross message about Granny needing heart surgery, and then we didn't hear from him for 8 weeks! It took 8 weeks for his first letters to arrive (he had written them early on, but the mail traffic was slow initially). It seemed like forever. I cherished those letters so much. I would just read them over and over again. I still have them all through both Iraq deployments and an earlier 6 month Kuwait deployment (gosh, where are they? I think they're in our permanent storage in TX).

Now, just a few short years later, the world is so tech dependent and I'm so thankful that I usually get an email from B-man everyday unless there's a blackout. Blackouts occur when there is a casualty in theater. They are not allowed to use comms until family members have been notified in the US. They do this so that family members are notified correctly. Okay, enough about that. We're also hopeful to take our communication a step further this time and be able to skype with him in the near future. Thank goodness for technology!

That being said, you just can NOT beat an old fashioned hand written letter! When you open the mailbox and see a letter from Afghanistan, it's a wonderful feeling!! I can't wait to read them! And now, Grady is experiencing this too. He loves checking the mail and gets very excited when we have a letter from DaDa. We got one just the other day. B-man drew some pictures for Boo to color and he got working on them right away. B-man even wrote Lil Bit her own special note and she loved carrying it around. It was like she could tell it was something special.  Melt my heart.

Here is Boo working on his coloring.





B-man's Corner: (more from his emails)
I got my first two packages today! Yeah! Mom and Dad, thanks for the kippered herring! I'll enjoy the look on everyone's face as they smell it! Ha! I also received my laptop in the mail (and intact). This is good. I fired it up tonight before coming back to work and it seems to be running fine. Just this week they completed the internet contract and started getting WIFI hooked up. I heard that there was a long line to get accounts established earlier. I expect that the line will simmer down in a few days, then I'll see if I can get it working on my computer. I would love to be able to "skype" back home. Times zones will be an issue, but I should be able to work it out.

Today, it snowed all day. When I went outside to shave this morning there was about an inch and a half of snow on the ground. It didn't accumulate too much more than that around here even though it snowed a lot ... I think its kind of tough for the snow to stick on gravel and sand. I talked to the other half of my team this evening. They told me that they have about 8 inches on the ground now. I'm hearing predictions that the temps are supposed to reach a high of 11 degrees Fahrenheit here on Thursday. TOO COLD!

When I talked to my counterpart (Afghan) today he said that he thinks we brought good luck with us. He says it doesn't normally snow like this here, so we must have brought it with us. Also, before we got here the previous guys were working on fixing the burners (cookers) in the mess hall and within the past few days we got them repaired. He was more than pleased about that!

My counterpart did have some bad news for me though. It seems that one of his "relatives" was hit by an IED yesterday. His relative is a civilian and was driving his civilian vehicle when it happened. It looks like he is going to be OK, but my counterpart is taking off for a few days to go spend time with him. I tried to show him some sympathy. He said something like [translated] "Ahhh, it happens all the time here ... since I was very young ... we're used to it." I think this shows their culture. They are very used to bombs.

More on projects ... Just last week a few of us sat down and "designed" a new outpost. We're trying to get it done quickly, but there is a lot of red tape that we have to bust through. Anyway, the project was pretty cool.  This place is not going to be the Taj Majal by any stretch, it is very rudimentary. It'll be cool to leave my mark on the terrain. I'm betting that at least remnants of our construction will be here 50 years from now. (This is based off of seeing remnants of the Russian regime still here).

I don't think that I've told you about my translator/interpreter/linguist/cultural advisor yet. He's got a pretty cool story. I think he's about 50-55. He is originally from Pakistan, but he lives in the US now. He is a trained accountant and CPA. He says he did taxes for a long time, but he couldn't pass up the money from this job. He has two boys, and a girl. His oldest son has a Masters in computer engineering, his daughter has a Masters (in something ??) and his youngest son is in college.

Anyway, he was supposed to be the US BDE CDR's interpreter, so he moved to Alaska in NOV so he could get to know the BDE. Everything was good until they got here and discovered that something happened with his clearance ... delayed/stalled somewhere and since he doesn't have a clearance he couldn't translate the necessary classified material/conversations so they booted him. 

Long story, short ... my team had an "urgent" need for translators so he ended up with me. Now I just hope that I get to keep him ... I'm afraid that once his clearance finally gets approved, they're going to steal him back. He speaks/reads/writes several languages, Pashto being the important for language for me. Most people around here speak Pashto and Dari, so if they begin speaking Dari to him, he just tells them to speak Pashto. Luckily, my counterpart is pashtun, so they match up quite nicely. Also, and this is the most important thing ... I can understand his English! So many translators don't speak understandable English ... I got lucky with my translator.

Boo, Kid Comfort, and Fear No Easel

Finally, a blogworthy photo of Boo with his Dada picture! It's getting harder and harder to get him to look at the camera, etc. He's so busy! 



I think he looks like such a big boy in this picture. Sniff!



Thanks to the mild temps here in SC, we've been able to enjoy some time outdoors. Here we are watching Boo on his bike.

Trying to smile. hehe!

Racer!

Go, Go, Go!

My friend Carrie told me about this program called Operation Kid Comfort through the Armed Services YMCA. Volunteers from around the country will make a quilt for children of deployed service members with photos of that service member. So, I contacted the YMCA at Ft Richardson and sent in 9 pics for each child. The quilts arrived in the mail yesterday and the kids are in love with them! Bit keeps saying, Da-Da and Boo keeps telling the story that goes along with each of his photos. What a great gift!!

Lil Bit's quilt.

Already snuggled up in his! (this was about 15 minutes after it arrived in the mail)

BeBe babysat the little ones tonight so that Aunt R and I could go to this place called Fear No Easel. You go there and the instructor tells you/shows you how to paint the picture of the night. You have creative license to do what you want, but they guide you on how to approach it. We started with blank canvases and ended up with these masterpieces!! It was sooo much fun!! We hardly ever get to to do anything, just the two of us. So, it was a nice treat. We went to eat dinner afterwards and we were home by 8 p.m.! My kind of night! Thanks BeBe for watching the babes.  You should definitely do this if they have something similar in your neck of the woods.

Reporting from Overseas

First of all, thank you so much for your sweet comments on Bit's picture. I was telling myself as much as Aunt R to not cry! It was definitely heartwarming to say the least and the photo is priceless to us! Everyone keeps telling me to enter it into a photo contest. Maybe I will, but honestly, I don't have to time to research that kind of a thing. I still need to take Boo's picture. I need to charge the camera battery first...

Now, for today's post...

B-man has been sending out some group emails to our family. I thought that some of the material would be great to share on the blog so that y'all can get an idea of what it's like for him over there (he approved).  Here are some excerpts from a few of his emails.

The first one is from right about the time that they got to their final destination:

 

We have SHOWERS here! (Although none of us showered today because the 20 gallon hot water tanks was not cutting it -- ice cold). Four of us used the two sinks to shave in ... one would step back and shave / brush while the other was rinsing, then vice versa. No one complained but we all expected these conditions and we are thankful that they aren't worse.

Chow is good. Very small facility, but they've got what we need. And it was hot. (Hot chow = Good chow).

So far, so good right now, but now is when the team will get very busy!! We are expecting long days and little rest as we get established and soak up as much info as we can from the previous guys.

A few days later...

I think that most of us are getting pretty well accustomed to things. I am sitting here in the MWR computer lab writing this email (with a cracked computer monitor so that I can only see the bottom half of the screen) with about 12 other Soldiers to my left and right and we are listening to another Soldier sitting just outside playing his guitar and singing some songs. It is actually enjoyable. He's pretty good. I don't think that anybody minds a bit. Yeah, I think we all pretty much are settling in. We knew what to expect. We have what we need. We are pleased with the availability of our wants.
I can't remember if I already wrote this or not, nevertheless, it is worth repeating if I already did. It is DARK here!!! When we first arrived we commented every night movement that we were fortunate to have a full moon (and good weather). Now that we've been here a few weeks, the moon has changed phases and for the first few hours everynight, before the moon gets over the mountains (overhead) we are are in a "black hole." It is like there is a vacuum taking the light away. I normally NEVER use a flashlight whenever I move at night. I just wait for my eyes to adjust and then move. Well, that is tough to do here. I've even had to break down a few times and pull out the old flashlight ... like last night when I walked into a 6 foot tall concrete barrier!!!
Now, he's singing Roy Orbinson's "Old El Paso." I could get used to this. Ha!And finally...We are SUPER busy now that we are in the lead. I think things will settle down for us once we get fully established and learn exactly what we're doing (terrain, Afghan culture, enemy, etc).

Everything is good here. Attitudes are good. People are happy. No major complaints from anybody.
Oh, speaking of being happy ... I did my first load of laundry today! Yes! I've been so busy and haven't had time, but today is "Jumah" (Islamic Day of Rest occurs on Friday) so I knew my counterpart wasn't going to be at work. First thing this morning I put my clothes in the washing machine and two and a half hours later I finished ... it took an hour and a half for the washer to finish its cycle! Unbelievable!. Thankfully, the dryer only took an hour.

I don't think I've told you yet, but I was able to move into my room on Monday. It's very small (I like to think "cozy") and very rugged (just Pakistani 2X4's and plywood ... curved / warped), but definitely an improvement over the temp room that I had been in. This room has heat! I don't have to zip up tight in my sleeping bag anymore. We are in rough plywood "B-huts" (15ft X 24ft). There are six rooms, three per side, with a 3 ft hall dividing the sides. Rooms are 6 X 8 ft. My bed is a hand made structure that goes from one side of the room to the other. Luckily I'm not 6 ft tall. I feel sorry for the tall guys! I describe the bed as a structure because it is certainly not a bed ... the mattress has minimal padding so I can feel every spring. It is about the width of a twin mattress, but I have to lay on it very carefully because the structure under the mattress is about 8 inches narrower than the mattress ... if you put too much weight on the wrong side -- to the floor you go! I'm laughing as I type this because several people have experienced the fall. AIRBORNE! Also funny is when you sit on one side of the mattress the springs don't compress so the whole mattress stands up behind you. Ha! One last thing about the beds ... they are about 4.5 feet high so you have to jump to get in them!
All that said, when I hit the sack. I sleep like a rock. I don't hear a sound and I sleep through the night. No sleep problems here!

I think he paints a pretty good picture of the things that he's allowed to describe to us. I must admit, I laughed out loud when I read about the mattress standing up behind him when he sits on the edge of the "bed". I'll continue to share things as he is able to send us updates. 

The Sweetest Thing I Ever Saw

I had some photos enlarged of B-man and our babes to put in their rooms while he's gone. Boo and Bit went nuts over them! Boo was dancing and carrying his poster all over the place. Bit trampled over all of the toys in the room trying to get to hers!  I stopped to talk to G about his photo (they were both taken at the Alaska State Fair this year); and when I was I was finished talking to G about his picture, I turned around and saw Lil Bit like this. It was so sweet. I mean, THE sweetest thing I've ever seen. And don't be sad...she wasn't (no crying Aunt R!). She was so happy to see him and love on him!

I don't have a picture of Boo and his poster yet, but I'll get one. But I do have a story about it.
His picture is hanging right above his bed. So tonight when I was telling him goodnight, he looked up and said, "Goodnight Dada". And then, as if B-man was there to respond, Boo said (in a deep Dada voice), "Goodnight G". It was also sweet. Boo thought it was funny. 

Peace

You all may remember that I posted about my cousin Billy who suffered a stroke back in October. He was only 39 years old. Well, it saddens me to report that he passed away last week. I just returned from his memorial last night. I'm so grateful that I was able to go to Florida to be with my family. Granny and Grandpa, Aunt P and K watched the kiddos for two nights for me.

It breaks my heart every time I think about My Aunt B and Uncle B having so say goodbye to their son. And for my cousin N to have to say her final goodbye to her younger brother.  What heartache they must all feel.

This is the third death in our family in recent months. All three times, a parent has buried their child.  Adults, yes but children nonetheless.

I don't know what to say to them, I know words are hollow.

I pray that one day they feel at peace and that they feel the arms of God wrapping around them, as He knows their pain. 

I overheard my Aunt B telling a little girl at the memorial, that Trooper Dyer was okay now...that he was in heaven.

It was a very sweet moment.